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Written by Christine MacEachern | Girls in this day and age seem to have some of the toughest jobs in the world. Simply being one bares many expectations in almost every aspect of life. Unfortunately some of the setters of these expectations don’t have the interest of young women in mind. Given this, there are several core values you can impart to your daughter(s) to ensure she’s both the best that she can be and capable of thriving in a world where image is everything.
Core Lessons to Teach Your Daughter:
1. Her sense of self should be determined by her and no one else.
Of course your daughter should be open to constructive criticism. She should be raised to respect you as a parent, and she should be able to empathize with other people. But she does not need to absorb the harmful messages that are directed at her by the media. She doesn’t need to define her self-worth by what anyone else thinks of her. She does not need to be thin, stunningly beautiful, or quiet. If she wears makeup, she should wear it for herself and no one else. Your daughter’s appearance and her personality should be crafted for her and not for the enjoyment of others.
2. She shouldn’t have to put up with anyone who hurts her.
From little boys excused for pulling a girl’s hair (“Oh, that just means he likes her!”) to grown men catcalling teenage girls on the street, from little girls excluding other girls from games to the rawest form of cyber bullying, we as women are unfortunately often subject to harassment. Sometimes we are conditioned to put up with this harassment because “He/She was just joking,” or “Sticks and stones…but words will never hurt you.” Words and gestures do hurt. Raise your daughter to know she doesn’t need to tolerate any interactions that make her uncomfortable. She can hold people accountable for their own behavior by not keeping that behavior a secret. She should know that she is not the cause of someone else’s inappropriate behavior, and she certainly never deserves to be mistreated.
3. She should strive to do her best in all areas of her life.
Whether she excels in academics or building cars, your daughter should strive to do her best. You as a parent should allow her to explore hobbies that she enjoys. Encourage her to focus on academics since they are one of the most important components of a young girl’s life, but also allow her to have interests and a life outside of school. She may not pick what you would pick for her, and that’s perfectly fine. Be there to listen as she learns lessons from her choices, and save any advice for when she requests it.
4. She should have healthy friendships and exercise kindness in her social interactions.
Whether at school or outside of school, your daughter is sure to have a social life. Whether she’s an outgoing girl with many friends or a quiet introvert with just a few, she should know how to choose friends wisely. Your daughter should socialize with people who make her life more positive. She should find friends who encourage her to be the best person she can be and show kindness toward other people. Your daughter can take the gracious high road while at the same time keeping boundaries intact so people do not take advantage of her warm heartedness.
5. She should be able to come to you for anything.
Children these days grow up too fast. No matter what environment you raise your daughter in, there’s a good chance she’ll be exposed to sex, drinking, and substance abuse before she’s even a teenager. Rather than making a concerted effort to completely shield her, monitor her exposure by staying aware of her media usage. Talk to her about these topics. Let her know that you’re available for conversation, and especially let her know that you’ll love her no matter what. Shielding your child from mature topics will not protect them; it will make them more likely to hide their problems and lie to you.