Written by Michel Perlong | With globalization turning the American Dream into a world dream, along with the world’s current financial state, it is also time to revisit the age-old question: can money really buy happiness?
Suburban house, two cars, large garden and 2.1 children; for the post-war generation this was happiness. Today perhaps we would throw in a couple of iPads and being a career parent, but the idea of the American Dream remains largely unchanged, even though some would argue that with increasing divorce rates and cultural changes to the family unit, this has become less attainable.
Recent research done by Michael Norton and Elizabeth Dunn, co-authors of Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending, suggests that the way in which we spend money does not lead to happiness and we need to alter our spending habits in order to achieve it. The research shows that money itself and earning more of it doesn’t make us happy as a whole, nor do purchases made with that money.
Dunn and Norton suggest that it is money combined with time and the company of others that creates happiness. For example, buying a $4,000 TV may seem like a good purchase, but they suggest that having 40 weekly meals for $100 with a loved one would create much more happiness over time, Salon reports.
What about that house in the suburbs? When buying their house, most people will conjure up images of barbecues and playing ball games outside, however Dunn and Norton suggest that the reality for many is condemning oneself to a 2-hour commute every day and thus spending more time trying to maintain the dream instead of using that time to live happily.
Then there is also the debt incurred through buying a house or a $4,000 TV. In the book, they suggest that avoiding debt and getting out of debt are key to happiness, since having credit card debt hanging over your head can make you miserable, reports Forbes. Consume now and pay later should be a thing of the past if one wants to be happy, instead buying in anticipation and looking forward to it – such as with a vacation – is much more preferable.
Perhaps what Dunn and Norton are describing is fulfillment over pleasure. Buying a ball for your son and seeing him smile may bring you pleasure, but kicking it around with him in the garden and seeing him make the team when he’s older will most likely bring you fulfillment. Your son will probably enjoy the ball but it will make him much more happy to share the experience of the ball with you, which is another point made in the book: making others happy is one of the biggest factors in being happy yourself. In the end, it all boils down to buying experiences rather than things.
It is no surprise then that having worked too much and not spent enough time with loved ones are some of the most common regrets experienced by those nearing the end of their lives. In Bonnie Ware’s The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, the most common regrets are:
- Not having the courage to live life true to oneself and not the life expected by others
- Working too hard
- Not expressing feelings to loved ones
- Not staying in touch with friends
- Not letting oneself be happy
That’s some useful knowledge to have, so maybe it’s time to put our wallets away and use them only for what makes us happy, then hopefully we won’t grow older to have the same regrets. If Michael Norton and Elizabeth Dunn are right, then perhaps seeing your children grow up to do the same will bring you even more happiness.