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Written by Samantha Rivera | No matter the length of your marriage it’s likely that you’ve started to see some differences. You may realize that you and your partner no longer spend every minute together like you did when you were dating or when you were first married. You may notice that your time together is a lot more mundane than it used to be because all you talk about are chores and kids. Before you resign yourself to that forever there’s something you should know. You don’t have to live that way!
1. Put a spin on everyday tasks.
There are a multitude of ways to have fun without ever setting foot outside your home. For example, you can race your partner to see who gets their chores done first. The winner gets to choose his/her reward (extra points if the reward some intimacy). You can also get your work done together. Two is better than one; and if you’re in the same room, you can squeeze in a little conversation too. The key is to focus on the time you spend with your partner, not the nitty gritty of the activity itself.
2. Plan your future, just like the good old days.
Do you remember the early days of your relationship, when you used to share with him your hopes and dreams for the future? We hope they didn’t end at “get married” and “have kids”. Every person at every age dreams about the future, so don’t just keep yours to yourself. Share what you want and hope for with your partner. Listen to what he wants. After all, your future involves the two of you, which means knowing how to communicate and reach your goals together is a necessity.
3. Take an extended break…
Going on vacation may seem impossible with work and kids and everything else you have going on but it’s not impossible and you deserve one. Making time to get away for awhile even if it’s just a few days will prove invaluable by allowing you the chance to be together again without the noise of everything else that happens in your day-to-day life.
4. … Or go on a date.
If you just can’t manage to get away for a long period of time, then at least go away for a couple hours. Find something that you both enjoy or just go out for dinner together. You’ll have a chance to talk about anything and everything and you might just learn something new about your partner.
5. Fix the small issues.
If you’re like most people every now and then, your partner sometimes does things that annoy you. Some people don’t say anything about these annoyances. Let him know respectfully what bothers you. Work out the tiny issues before they build up to become big ones.
6. Make your relationship top-of-mind.
If you don’t make your marriage important then who will? Putting the relationship on the back burner will cause you and your partner even more troubles. By making your marriage the most important thing in your life, you prime it for all the added perks (one of which is having fun).
7. Adopt an overall positive outlook.
Believing in the best is one way to make the best happen. Think about all the ways that something can work instead of the ways that it can fail and you’ll definitely have a lot more fun in your marriage. You’ll also be able to do more with your partner and kids as well.
8. Celebrate the small things.
Your partner got a compliment at work today? Celebrate with dessert. You managed to run two miles? Celebrate that too. It may seem silly but when you celebrate together but you’ll be having fun as well. And of course, don’t forget to celebrate the big things either.
9. Help others.
You’ll find that helping people other than yourselves is much more rewarding. Book off an afternoon for you and your partner to volunteer at the local food drive, or do the yard work for your elderly neighbour next door. Working with your partner toward a common cause (and a good cause at that) will bring you both closer together.
10. Share your troubles.
If you’re going through a rough patch, even outside your marriage, don’t be afraid to share your worries with your partner. He is there to help you along your path through life and he should want you to be happy. If you open up to him, he can a) better understand you, and b) help you get through this tough time.
Being married isn’t just about having some other body in your house to help you cook and clean. It’s about having someone who you can spend time with, communicate with, have fun with, and grow with. How do you go about having more fun when your marriage seems to be falling into a rut? All it takes is a little time, effort, and a conscious willingness to change.